Home,home on the net

Rachel's Cooking: Hootenanny Pancakes

2011-12-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

Rachel's Cooking: Hootenanny Pancakes

Our last big breakfast before the kids go back, with caramelized apples for A.

Undercover

2011-12-13T20:14:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday dad

2011-12-02T15:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was your birthday Dad. We had a piece of cheesecake, lit a candle and sang happy birthday. Odd, I know, because as an adult i never once had birthday cake with you. What can I say? Grief demands ceremony. I left my last bite for you. We had greek on wheels because I have fond memories of sharing that with you when you visited.

I still miss you Dad. I get odd in the days before your birthday, father's day and the day you passed. I still feel regret that we didn't spend more time together as adults. I think you knew how much I love you but I wish I could be certain. I wish I hadn't expected perfection from either of us and had seen us as acceptably fallible.

Yesterday I focused on remembering you. I don't have any pictures and the more time passes, the more memory will fade. I thought about

- fishing with you, swimming off the rocks at Frontena
- eating clams for the first time with you
- the night steph was born - your shirt ripped and bloody from an intense labour
- So many meals: chinese food, wing night, the noodles you hung in the laundry room
- you tucking me into bed - even once on a visit when I stayed the night
- thanksgiving in the hotel room in Ottawa - you brought my wee kitten ( Kit Kat ) and made a litter out of a turkey pan. You made portebello mushrooms because i was a veg
-eating cheesecake with you at Disney world - the buffet was endless. I think you let me eat as many pieces as I could.
- You teaching me to ride a bike - at age 11!
- going up to the air traffic control tower on bring your daughter to work day
- Smells: the smell of your old spice in the morning - always comforting; the smell of you all sweaty after a run - salty.

I remember other more painful things, like how you travelled a lot and how I missed you so much. How you seemed like you needed to hit the road and didn't always say goodbye. But I don't mention those things to be petty. You were not perfect is all I want to say. You weren't perfect and I still love you Dad. Dave Mihill I wish you were not gone. I hate that you are gone. I love you with all my heart and I wish you a happy birthday, singing tunelessly from the top of my lungs.

I'm out of breath and you're still gone, but you are not forgotten David Mihill, Dad.

Silly chicken

2011-11-25T08:34:00.001-05:00

This is Ws favourite right now. We love it because, well, chicken! Also though, the child narrator is not sugary but curious, jealous and sometimes fierce; she threatens the chicken on one occasion just like real kids do. The pictures are gorgeous and bright, some full of detail. Silly chicken has plot twists, sadness and joy.

Snow day - best day ever!!!

2011-11-23T21:39:00.001-05:00

Today was the best day ever. F stayed over and both he and little W shuffled/ stomped into my room at 6:45 " Kaffy/ Mommy is it it Christmas?" After a groggy "Hunh?" and some real fear that I had pulled a Rumpelstiltskin, I figured out it had snowed buckets during the night. Happy happy kids - and since I am not commuting right now, happy happy me. They headed out to the back yard to play before breakfast and had maple syrup on snow. Then a short break for more substantial food, and some fort/ trap building then out to build a snowman.

We went looking for rocks for the eyes and found neighbour kids who were building a snowasaurus so we all joined in and got invited back for cocoa. With marshmallows!!

Finally, Sarah came by with lunch and we showed her our fabulous creations before heading to the ball pit at IKEA.

Perfect snow day!

growig up!

2011-11-23T09:17:00.001-05:00

Little A is growing up fast, cultivating her fluffy gingerness, crawling, standing, grabbing and eating all the things; some food, some not. Little W loves being a big sister while teaching the wee one she is learnig about words and sounds and writting. Mostly nonsense lists for the grocery store that include broccoli, carrots and ice cream, but also her name, with the letters in no particular order. Sarah brought over a ukulele, and she really enjoyed strumming it, and playing a c chord so maybe a trip to the folklore centre is in order, so she and Papa can play together.

Farmhands!

2011-11-22T15:36:00.001-05:00

For the longest time I've wanted to be a wwoofer - willing worker on organic farm - and the last two weeks I've been lucky enough to head up to Mariposa farms with Emily and Tarek to help harvest. The hours in the fresh sunny air with the pigs and chickens, geese, horses cows and veggies made me so relaxed and happy. Lovely. Miraculous.

a visit with ma tante Paule

2011-11-22T15:05:00.001-05:00

life is not fair - just precious

2011-11-16T13:40:00.001-05:00

Today I found out that another friend tried to end her life last night. We are not close - twitter friends who I have met once or twice but I want her to know that I love her. I love her because she is human and fallible and she is worthwhile because she exists. Not because she has her won business, cares about her children, sews, cooks, ensures the safety of babies and kids. None of those things matter. She is worthwhile because she is. simply. I hope she stays with us. I would miss her if she left. I am frustrated to read comments about how her children need her, how leaving would not be fair. I don't think she is trying to hurt her children. She is not dumb - she knows they need her. I don't know why she wanted to leave but I don't think blame will help. I could be wrong. I just had to get this out there - if I were a praying girl I would pray that she decides to stay, that she finds peace here with us. I would pray that she know that she is worthwhile because she is. I am thinking of you friend though I don't fully understand.

140 characters at a time

2011-11-12T13:07:00.005-05:00

I gave up Facebook social media for the month of November because I was starting to think in status updates and tweets, 120 characters at a time. Not that this is bad or good but I was compelled, checking twitter and Facebook before bed and first thing in the morning. I wanted to see if I could reset my brain and see what the effects of less social media would be. Right now, I'm stay at home momming social media does help me feel connected to grown ups so I was worried about losing that connection.

So far so good and I really feel like I'm getting lots done, am more clear headed and not compelled to sit at the computer. I'm still feeling connected to people I know though I do miss some of my online friends and I think that when the month is over I'll go back, just less often.

With the extra minutes that I would usually steal for surfing I have been decluttering the house, one zone at a time - no pictures of that because I'm doing it gradually and not stopping to record play show and tell - but it is awesome let me tell you!

I have knitted a pair of slippers, pictured below. @Mudmama sent me the pattern. My next pair will be for Willow and slightly felted in real wool.

I'm also painting with Willow lots. This one she did herself today and she took the picture.

This I took inspired by a video Willow took of the paints.

I guess my analysis so far is that giving social media has given me the time and energy to do more and create a bit. More to show for less tell? I do miss my friends and sharing recipes, events, and virtual compassion.

Any thoughts to share? Leave a comment. I do miss sharing ideas online!

Happy 11th Birthday Arrow!

2011-06-01T17:58:00.000-04:00

Leaf Day

2010-10-17T13:00:00.009-04:00

At the lake with Auntie Jehnny

2010-08-29T18:26:00.003-04:00

Two weekends ago we had an little retreat with Auntie Jehnny and Mike at Tremblant. So relaxing!

watering the tomatos

2010-08-29T18:09:00.002-04:00

Man and herbs

2010-08-29T17:53:00.001-04:00

reading with Nana

2010-08-29T15:58:00.001-04:00

Vist with Nana

2010-08-29T14:58:00.004-04:00

We had a wonderful visit with Nana last weekend! Willow and Nana enjoyed hanging out in the garden and reading books together. Willow learned some french and shared her love of all things pink and princessy.

Thanks!

2010-07-28T22:25:00.002-04:00

I have the best friends and family in the whole world. I know yer jealous, but that's just the way it is.

Thanks to Parise for the clean laundry, the peaceful week to rest and the listening ear. Thanks to Ray introducing Willow to Calvin and Hobbes.

Thanks to Mom and Ter for the week of outing and adventures - you've taken the kids everywhere I don't have time to, and mom, all my friends think yer buff!

Thanks to Sarah for being up early in the morning, having a kid and being awesome. Thanks for the rides , the food and the girls nights

Thanks to Jehn for all of your help,the groceries, your energy and your advice.

Thanks to Emily for the bike, the ideas, and for loving my kids almost as much as I do.

Thanks to Anne for making Tyren a teenage wanderer and for being a hella awesome house guest - even if you don't sleep!

Thanks to my kids for giving me purpose, making me smile and helping me appreciate silence.

for the record - Thanks!

For Duckie

2010-06-30T19:56:00.005-04:00

For you Duckie, some pictures of the our epic water fight, Hermione my favorite ten year old and of course, Dark Mirror. He did take part in the water fight but we only have him on video. The royal family was here too, and during the water fight of course, there was a peace nik in our tree!

Let the summer fun begin ..

Father's Day

2010-06-20T22:36:00.002-04:00

I'll let Wes story to his dad shine tonight because it's awesome, and he's the father. I 'm just peeved about something I would like to mention. On facebook there are a couple of comments about " Happy Father's day to all the good dad's out there" Or " to all the involved dad's out there" and I even 'liked" these because I know the women who wrote them and I get the get their point - there are some un involved dads out in the world my friends are dealing with some real jerks. I get it. But I didn't see this anywhere on Mother's day.

I know a lot of really great involved dads and I know some sketchy moms. But NO where on Mother's day did I see anyone qualify " Happy Mother's day" with " to all the involved mothers out there!!!".

I know I'm on the dad train right now, because I'm short one dad. Really though, can we just give dads in general enough credit not to have to qualify our appreciation of them? Mom's getting "happy birthing day " on thier kids birthdays, happy Mothers day to ALL the mothers out there. Dad's get " It's great that he's actual an involved dad!!"

I'm just saying.

Happy father's day to all the dad's out there. Especially the ones I love.

( SO I qualified it. It's my blog)

Top 3 Things I Learned From my Father ( Wes)

2010-06-20T21:40:00.001-04:00

Most of us start out in life and our parents are just there, like the weather. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Maybe we fight it, during those awkward growing up years, but we’re like our parents, in more than a few ways. Mostly our parents are there as a weird mirror of life when they grew up. A way to see the end product of what the world wanted men and women to be like in those times. Face it, we’re all here because we are prisoners of our DNA and its imperative to continue into the next generation nomatter what. The times change, but the blocks of what we, and our parents, were made up of do not. We are just them filtered through different times. What I hope to avoid from now forward is taking that presence for granted. Like it will be there forever.

As those who know me are probably aware our family grew short of a father this year’s father’s day. So I’d like to say my piece on fathers while I may. The value of letting your dad know how much you appreciate him is, it seems, a limited time offer, for all of us.

I grew up the youngest of three kids and I have little doubt that owing to my personal brain wiring and changing times my father had little idea what to make of me. I grew up so far outside of his frame of reference he must have struggled harder with every passing birthday to connect with what was mostly an ungrateful kid who had no idea how to deal with what has, thankfully now, become mostly comedic episodes of rage and frustration from his dad. For much of my childhood my father worked like a beaver at jobs he mostly hated to provide for his family and, never a man to keep things inside, the frustration uncorked from time to time. That is, all the time. I remember one particularly vengeful confrontation between my father and the vacuum cleaner that taught me a few choicer epithets when I was about six. I ran for cover. The next time I saw the vacuum cleaner it was sporting a series of duct-tape bandages. But let’s look at the big picture here: my father was doing housework, at a time when men didn’t do that shit.

Which brings me to the first thing I learned from my father. He is a man who always put his kids first and all he asked in return was a little cooperation. Heaven help the child, or vacuum, that didn’t catch on fast enough. My siblings and I would come home from school for lunch each day with a mixed dread at what kind of strange concoction of Campbell's canned soup we would get. Ox-tail mixed with creamy tomato? Creamy mushroom mixed with vegetable? You could never be sure. And added to this I had a sensitive palate and lived in terror of that day we would run out of bologna and I would get some sort of salami lunchmeat that would make me gag. To avoid the inevitable outbust over a perceived slight to his skills as a chef I spent more than one lunch chipmunking my cheeks with sandwich, left for school right away, and spit masticated sandwich into the nearest storm drain. It wasn’t until years later when I was a father myself that I realized my dad had taken his own lunch hour to drive home and make a hot meal for us rotten ingrates. Now when I look on those lunches I picture how he took his responsibility for us seriously. Personally. Not just a ‘I work all day to put food on your table!' kindof parenting. He put the food on the table too.

It wasn’t too many years after this my father quit his soul-crushing job and started a new career as an apprentice putting together custom-made wooden furniture and cabinets. The first I heard about it was coming home from school and seeing my dad was already home and my parents told me he had quit his job. I was just a kid but I knew not having a job was a pretty bad thing. But my dad busted his ass even harder at his new job working for crazed, eight-fingered germans until he could start his own business and finally become the thing he really wanted: his own boss. They say people who work in jobs where they can physically hold the things they worked on at the end of the day have less stress and a better quality of life. Running his own business maybe wasn’t a great stress reliever but he was certainly a happier man making cabinets than he had been as an assistant manager in a chain store providing liquor to the public. Although the stories he told us about the underside of society that walked into his store looking for beer every night at dinner were embellished with the humour my dad adds to everything like ketchup to a meal, there was an underlying loathing of the world in them. That slowly receded as years went by until by the time I was a teenager he actually took anger management courses and the change became easily apparent.

So the second thing I learned was that anything worth doing in life meant hard work. That you didn’t shy away from doing the right thing because it was tough. That self-improvement was a reward for those you loved most, not for yourself. Years later, when I had to make some of the hardest decisions in my life I had my father’s example to fall back on. And while I struggled building the relationship I had with my own children while we were apart and quitting a job I loathed for 12 years but kept because I thought I needed the security, I was able to come out the other side. Come out as what I hope is a better man.

Like I’ve said, the DNA humans are made out of doesn’t change that much while the world around us changes pretty much daily in pretty terrible ways, or at least it has since the industrial revolution, anyway. For most of the 20th century young people have worked hard to prove that they are unlike the generation before them. That they talk like parents don’t even speak the same language as them. Today, standing astride the 21st century, we may have entered a time when that is literally true. My ongoing efforts with my teenager to continue to keep up with the L33T speak he uses in increasingly cryptic internet communications (“Email? Ugh. Might as well chisel a letter into a cave wall! Don’t you IM?”) prove this out. But look at the men from my father’s generation. His parents won the Second World War, for Ah Pook’s sweet sake. Can you imagine being born at a time when the supremacy of the white male from the western world crested its high-water mark in history? When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. In other words it was inevitably downhill from there.

My dad grew up into a young man as a folky, and while I could go on about having an appreciation for a while on how his music appreciation has vastly enriched my life, what I value most about my dad is that he has struggled to understand the world around him. Unable to stand the small-town mentality of northern Ontario he and my mother moved their family south to the big city and tried to instill in us kids a value for not just culture, but for what was right. Betrayed at every turn by changing demographic of population that values his place less and less since the heady days white guys brought down the Nazis, my dad has been noted by many as a paragon for stubbornness. This is the man who bought his first VCR when I was about eleven, and ever since the day I left home when I was nineteen there has been a little strip of paper taped over the flashing 12:00 because he can’t make himself learn how to change the clock on its face. A man who stopped voting years ago when he realized none of the politically parties available to him would ever make the clock go back to the world he grew up in. All this may be true but I think what I admire most about my dad is his ability to never cease being surprised by the world. Passion is one of those words you don’t hear applied too often anymore, with a straight face, but I think my father has never stopped being angered by injustice or become jaded to cruelty and suffering. That is a remarkable quality as we round the clock in the year 2010. Most people try to cultivate a ‘been-there-done-that’ coolness that ages bitterly but as my father ages I find more and more commonality with him through books and his writing and what is obviously still a mind eager to grow.

For most of us growing up is a contest of wills against our parents. We push hard to prove we’re different from them and its easy to pick apart their parenting. The truth is nomatter how bad they really were, with few exceptions they could have done a lot worse. We’re none of us perfect and while our parents tend to point out our shortcomings its really nothing compared to the scrutiny we apply to them. But the best part of us will always be from our parents, just focused through a lens of our experiences. And for every child who shudders at the thought that they may end up repeating the same mistakes of their parents, there is a father out there who is proud of how much his children have grown up beyond himself. I know that’s how I look at my kids every day, and I hope its how my dad thinks of me.

i a woman

2010-06-15T21:38:00.002-04:00

Said my two year old, looking me seriously in the eyes..
and this made me so happy. Why? Seriously, tears sprang to my eyes and and I felt all warm inside and hugged little bug super close.

Why?

Because my little baby is growing up and all the traits she has now, social, mimicking, fierce, strong, easily frustrated and easily consoled will all come with her and mellow and grow, sharpen and bend to make a grown up woman. That is so cool.

Maybe too because she will be a woman in the female sense, part of my tribe, changeable depending on the time of the month, with bubbas and other curves.

Maybe because the contrast of the word woman coming out of little mouth in that tiny sweet toddler voice is just touching.

It is a moment in time that I would like to remember. So here it is, recorded for posterity. I love you so much my little woman and I always, always, always will.

One month

2010-06-05T20:23:00.003-04:00

But dad - I still miss you. And it's funny because we didn't see eachother that much. Three times a year when you'd roll into town for a business trip. We didn't really talk on the phone.

Did you know that this year I resolved to call you once a month? I wanted to show you that I loved you so much, I thought it was important for Willow that we talk more regularly. I called in december. You were sick then but you didn't tell me. You asked me to pick a flat screen TV. A Christmas gift.

I couldn't. Because I didn't want you to think that I only wanted a TV from you. I wanted you to know that I loved you even if you showed up empty handed.

You never showed up empty handed. Two years ago, you brought us Christmas dinner with all the fixings. Thank you. Lush stuff, ipods, the computer I am typing on. I just want you to know that I loved you without the stuff. I loved the way you talked to T about airplanes and uh.. science, bringing him out of his shell when he came to dinner with a book. The way you made my family and I feel special and could talk about anything. Steph said it best - you made people feel smart and special and so alive. You had such good taste and lust for life.

You asked about the TV again when you went into the hospital the first time. I told you we would give it some thought. You wanted to get something for our new house. I told you we were looking but really, I was looking for ways to get down there to see you.

The old TV is quitting now - the one you got me for my first apartment.

The screen is getting darker and darker. Fitting really, it started to quit this winter. When it goes, I might get a projector. I just can'tget a new TV.

This is not a beautiful letter Dad. But I want to talk to you. And from time to time I will, even though I don't think you can hear me. I miss you. I feel a void where you used to be, even when you weren't there. It hurts, But I am okay.

All my love xoox

Kitten

Happy 10th Birthday Arrow!

2010-05-31T21:56:00.000-04:00

Family BBQ

2010-05-23T20:30:00.006-04:00

Today was a beautiful day - we hung out as a family all day long. Usually on weekends I'm an impatient morning person, up and out with Willow before Wes' feet have hit the floor but this morning I decided against all reason to head to the museum of Nature because Willow had asked for the Dinosaur museum so many times and this weekend is the grand re- opening. So at 10:10, I ran upstairs to tell Wes were leaving in ten minutes - and he stumbled out of bed ready to go - on the condition that coffee be provided. Awesome.

So we get there, and there is a lineup. No, a LINEUP, around the block, barricades and all. The deal was that Willow would see dinos but I DON'T do lineups. A promise is a promise though, so we took her to see the dino statues outside. She climbed them and ran around and then with the promise of a Popsicle we headed to our old favorite park. I love two - no need to mend a broken heart, I got off on a technicality and a frozen treat.

The park was awesomely full of kids and she played and climbed and Wes and I chatted under a tree, drinking coffee. I wouldn't have planned to go all the way downtown to a park - but it was wonderful. Comforting to be back in old stomping grounds, doing something free and relaxing.

I love the new hood - but you can't beat the energy and diversity of a good old downtown park. Basketball game playing, full of kids, music ...

When we got home after a quick stop at Perfect books, where Willow and I had our own little story time and she got to pick a book - the fabulously simple but perfect two year book " Me hungry" , we spent the evening BBQing with Mike , Jehn and Dudley.

See below for hilarity, staring the wagon, the dog, and the ever high energy Jehn.

A dog and his bone. and ball. Wet ball. He kept dropping it in his water bowl and then wondered why we didnt want to throw it...

Uncle Mike in a wagon with Willow. Comfy but according to the crowd not a real radio flier as you can't steer it careening down a hill.

Party time!

"Look, a monster!" This is a good thing around here...

Super toddler tries to move a mountain -- well a Mike.

Ice cream!

Hiding from the monster...

backyard swing

2010-05-22T12:06:00.003-04:00

We have a back yard swing! In preparation for the good times of summer, we picked up this snazzy wooden prate swing - it will be set higher when the big kids get here and probably move to the front yard for higher swingage - but for now Willlow loves her hidden treasure.

things that make me happy

2010-05-22T06:08:00.003-04:00

Lately life is a bit scary. Mostly when I stop doing. When I am busy at work or playing with Willow, pr cleaning or reading or making food I'm okay. Better than okay actually, very grateful to be alive and experiencing all of these things that make up life.

In the spaces in bween, when things slow down I am sometimes sad. Sometimes painfully sad and sometimes scared. Sad because I miss my dad and I know that I I will never hold his hand again and that this year, he won't show up with a Christmas tree and Lush soap, to sharea glass of wine and tell us stories about air traffic near disasters, his travels or the latest family gossip.

Sometimes in those spaces I get scared because I know that I am mortal now and death is not fair or patient or predictable.

When I'm scared and sad, momments like these carry me through.

Gardening

2010-05-20T17:54:00.002-04:00

One of the best parts of the new house is the backyard. The other night Auntie Emily came over and we moved the raspberry bushes and planted some lettuce. So far we've done a good job watering every night.

New Living Room!

2010-05-18T16:44:00.006-04:00

After some awesome tag-team we scored some kick-ass livingroom furniture on the kijiji.

Precious time

2010-05-10T14:03:00.004-04:00

The weekend before dad died, I was lucky enough to spend precious time with him and four of my sisters.

Sometimes, today, I am so mad that I won't get to spend more time with dad, that I will not share another meal with him or hear another of his stories. But i am trying very hard to focus on the good that has come from his life. My sisters are all amazing women and they are my dad's greatest gift to me.

Together, we can keep the family going, keep the stories and the memory of dad alive. We can make new memories, share laughter and support each other. Share meals and good wine.

To my sisters, I love all of you. I am holding you close in my thoughts. Thank you for your support ans for sharing tears and laughter ( sometimes so inapropriate ; ) ) with me these past weeks. Please know I cherish you.

Dad

2010-05-05T19:47:00.002-04:00

I love you dad. I love camping trips in Algonquin park, the way you ate the too thick powdered eggs and made me carry the canoe. I love your love of good food, good wine, good scotch, good steak. I love your curly hair and red beard, your kind sometimes so intense eyes. I love your solid hugs, your firm hand holding mine, your strength. I love the way you held my daughter so still and patient, watching her sleep.

Thank you for the long talks, though we don't always agree, for the appreciation for the delicious and the beautiful. Thank you for your love, sometimes expressed in hugs, sometimes in microwaves and TVs.

I love you dad, and I always will. You live on in me, my sisters and the eyes of my daughter that smile back at me with a spark that I know is yours.

love always,

Kitten

Hello to mommy in Edmonton

2010-04-30T20:49:00.003-04:00

What do you do when mommy is out of town and it's Friday night?

Two words:

dance party!

The Garden

2010-04-29T06:07:00.003-04:00

The flowers are bloomin! Here are the tulips mostly. We also have
rhubarb
strawberries
blackberries
onion
chives
thyme
mint
daffodils
radish
cilantro
ferns
crab apples
roses
and lots of stuff I have yet to identify ..

I love weeding the garden, sitting out back and looking at it and through it. I love picking rhubarb and stewing it right away. Ray and Parise have contributed Thyme and Chive, Emily added radish and cilantro and Arrow planted borrage. It's like a living quilt! We are planning to square foot garden parts of it under Emily's guidance. I think the garden is way favorite part of the new house!

Banana-na na na na

2010-04-29T06:03:00.002-04:00

And on a wrangy Saturday morning, with some bananas on the rot, we baked muffins. Willow call it "making". Works for me. The muffins were a little spongy and we may have eaten some dough.... Making was great fun though!

Willow and Duds

2010-04-29T05:59:00.002-04:00

Because a toddler and a dog are so similar - happy, messy, loving and occasionally bratty. And so easy on the eyes.

Nana and Puppa visit ...

2010-04-29T05:43:00.003-04:00

There are more pictures somewhere and I'll add them soon. But I love the one of Wes and Ray -- reflections of each other.

2010-04-24T08:44:00.000-04:00

2010-04-24T08:35:00.001-04:00

2010-04-24T08:09:00.001-04:00

update

2010-03-19T10:33:00.002-04:00

Not the most creative title but I am in that one week to move limbo where I've stopped etaing fruits and veggies, cut out vacuuming and have packed my toiletries. Oops.

Just an update - we move March 27th and I've lost the camera so there won't be much posting until we are settled.

Thank you to all for your support while I run around like a headless chicken. Much appreciated!

Winterlude

2010-02-18T09:04:00.004-05:00

We had so much fun at winterlude this year. Wes has put up great pictures on facebook with wry commentary but here for Nicole and other not so fans of the FB are some pictures..

Daddy and Willow enjoy street meat

OOhh a snowmobile! Once I took Willow to Toys R us ( to get diapers ). She made a Bee line for the baby Jeeps and stayed there for 20 minutes. How is this my daughter?

Mommy and Willow happy in the snow.

The Giant Spider - made of re- used garbage bags.

Nothing says awesome like taxidermy..

I could have comtributed to this awesome knitting tree but I was too chicken. Next year, watch out trees!!

and now kids I am off to work and when I think that my eyes are going to pop out of my head I'll just think of Winterlude.

just like mommy

2010-02-16T19:53:00.004-05:00

So I turned 34 at the end of January.

For some reason, 34 hit me pretty hard. Thirty was fine - it seemed cliche to be upset by 30 and to be honest, my twenties were a bit of a mess - so I welcomed my thirties with open arms and midnight sledding, if I recall correctly.

Thirty four, for some reason, had me thinking about how fast time flies; about how I really am a grown up now and never get asked for ID. I rarely do anything to warrrant proof of age mind you, but then, that is another sign of my age.

My mind had been going around in these circles, dusting off unwelcome thoughts and taking up time and brain space that should be used for more interesting, or at least upbeat thoughts, when my 34 th birthday arrived.

I decided that at 34, I would learn to wear make up like a grown up. Not just sultry eye make up for a night of dancing, but real grown up maintenance activities like moisturizing and exfoliating, as recommended on about.com. I would apply light makeup on a semi regular basis.

So with that in mind, I picked up some all natural face wash, a mint and rosemary exfoliator, and a moisturizer. I got mascara, eye shadow and lip stick. I chose a cover up to hide the shadows and lines I could see under my eyes.

For a few days I practiced applying my new and improved face, my youthful mask,my middle age security, uh, face blanket. I told myself this would help Willow when she got older because I would be able to teach her about "self care". She watched me intently all week as I made myself up and
This

Is what

She learned

Willow had been watching me all week, putting on makeup. So one fine "nap" time she grabbed the lipstick and made herself right up. When I look at these pictures I stop worrying about my age, I stop wondering if I'll grow old gracefully. I just laugh.

Family dinner!

2009-12-13T15:04:00.005-05:00

Aunty J decorates from a seated position . Efficient!

Aunty Jehnny and Mike decorating the tree. The hat really suits my sister.

Aunty Jehnny, Mike, Lauren and Dudley dropped by for a Christmas tree decorating party last night. I love the stories my sister tells that always make me laugh. I love that Mike and Wes and Lauren can chat about web sites and games and I love the thumping of toddler feet and the pitter pat ( seriously ) of puppy paws followed by squealing. I love the house full of family.

Dudley - chilling out waiting for belly rubs - he is so well behaved and awesome with Willow. He's our pseudo pet and I am hoping when we get a house we can doggie sit when needed.

O' Christmas tree ..

2009-12-13T14:50:00.005-05:00

This is NOT the greatest picture of our Christmas tree which Lauren and I (mostly Lauren), carried home all the way from the Glebe . I have photos of that on the cell phone and will have to e-mail them to myself so I can post them. She is fabulous. We also saw the Olympic flame on the way home while standing next to our Christmas tree on Bank street. Best day ever.

This is a locally farmed Blue Spruce (I think). It has the softest needles ever and went up without protest. I love real Christmas trees. I have many many fond memories of putting up giant, pine smelling trees and decorating them with crafty homemade ornaments and of course, Christmas balls and ancient candy canes, drinking egg nog and listening to carols. That is my favorite part of the holidays. Presents I could seriously do without, but the tree is about tradition and beauty and family time. Those are thethings I value most.

This year, Willow helped with the bottom - mostly candy canes. She tried to eat the first one but after that got the hang of things - no pun intended! Every year, I try to make something new for the tree - this year I'm waiting for the rest of the family to get here.

Happy Holidays!

Summer 09

2009-12-06T21:36:00.002-05:00

Wes (Dad or Daddy to some of you), took much time and effort to put together this video compilation of some of the best bits of this past summer. When Willow watches it she squeal and says " Arrr ( Arrow), " Mak" ( Max) and " Ty- yen" ( Tyren) . Dad and I just laugh and smile.

We hope you enjoy it - looking forward to seeing you so soon.

All our love,

Dad and Kathy

Pie on tap

2009-11-30T22:10:00.004-05:00

Willow was pouring pie out of her play kitchen ( which Jody found on the side of the road). The pictures aren't great but the idea was fabulous. Pie on tap!!!

2009-11-30T22:03:00.003-05:00

So lets see - Willow fixing things up before the black feet.
With Auntie Emily as I recall..

When she stepped in a drawer Emily had rescued from the garbage to fit under the couch.

Yes. Black feet solved.

Answer to the question " What happened?"

2009-11-30T21:57:00.001-05:00

But photo evidence suggests it was not that particular occasion in the bucket that led to the black feet. Different PJs. Hmmm.. more research required.

2009-11-27T18:23:00.000-05:00

Nana

2009-11-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

The soot sprites are at it again!

2009-11-27T08:07:00.000-05:00

I KISSED A GIRL - Acoustic live at the Vat

2009-11-06T13:53:00.001-05:00

My sister Alex signing live. She's amazing and it makes me cry - cause y'know I'm her sister.

Strathcona Park!

2009-10-30T09:00:00.007-04:00

What did you do this week?

2009-10-24T19:54:00.003-04:00

Nature Girl always asks me that when we talk and I think that it is sweet and a fair question except that over the phone, my week sounds so much lamer than it it feels most of the time.

This week for instance, I worked 7 am to 3pm which was perfect because we went to the park with Sarah and Felix most afternoons and even saw Orayo and Maya and Emily and Tarek on Monday. We ate great stinky cheese from a new cheese shop whose name escapes me and the leaves were beautiful.

Tuesday we went to the toddler park in the Glebe, drank coffee and commented on the "helicopter moms". The leaves were beautiful.

Wednesday I forget completely.

Thursday I went to a clothing exchange party at Fraulein F's. We all brought old clothes and traded them while drinking wine and eating cheese. Emily came over for Hamburgers before hand. We topped the burgers with Branston pickle and goat cheese. Delicious.

Friday I took a day off just for me. I read a whole detective novel and ate spaghetti sauce in bed. On a bed of rice. And on toast, when I ran out of rice. Friday night, Sarah and I went to Ikea with the kids and got new bedding for Tyren , some CD holders, kids masks and odds and ends. We ate swedish meatballs.

Today, Sarah and I went to the Third world Bazaar with the kids. Willow was being "two" and was a bit overwhlmed, so she and I mostly ran around outside. She was upset and then calmed right down when she saw a Buddha water fall. She loved his face and the water and kept pointing out his features. Something to think about.
I managed to find a gorgeous cushion for Tyren's bed and a green bamboo bowl. We ate cauliflower curry soup and spring rolls. MMmmm.

I've noticed reading this over that I am clearly all about food this week. May as well add that for dinner we had french bread, cheese and olives with crabby sticks and sushi. Decadent.

So, the answer to the question?

I ate.

2009-10-17T19:24:00.002-04:00

Turkey does NOT seem to have a soporific effect on my daughter. She donned this costume after dinner made like a super hero.

An afternoon in the park

2009-10-11T21:48:00.001-04:00

Daddy's hat!

2009-10-11T21:47:00.000-04:00

Happiness is.

2009-10-11T21:44:00.000-04:00

Fall on my street

2009-10-11T21:40:00.001-04:00

Coffee date!

2009-10-11T21:37:00.002-04:00

After a busy morning, Felix and Willow made Sarah and I stop for coffee. We protested, but they were pretty insistent on a caffeine fix!

More Butterflies!

2009-10-11T21:31:00.002-04:00

The butterflies like a warm, humid environment - which was a treat on this blustery morning! You'll see oranges and grapefruits in the pictures. The butterflies like these fruits and people were offering them fruit to entice them to come close. The giant butterfly at the top was in an enclosure with three others. Apparently, they eat other butterflies and as such were not encouraged to mingle!!

Butterflies!

2009-10-11T21:18:00.002-04:00

We went to the butterfly exhibit at Carleton University with Sara and Felix on Sunday morning. The butterflies were beautiful - I'll let the pictures, mostly taken by "Rarah" speak:

This one is blue on the inside. The outside is covered in "eyes" that trick predators.

Felix and Sarah - marveling at the the butterflies flitting about.

A beautiful "bug"

Jane Goodall

2009-09-25T09:39:00.002-04:00

Nature Girl-
I think that you should look up Jane Goodall. She was a scientist and conservationist who studied primates. I'm listening to an old interview with her and she is talking about her childhood. She sounds so much like you! She lived in a sea side town and had a tree in her yard that she liked to climb. She says that her dog taught her about animals and how they have personalities and feelings. She took worms to bed with her when she was a toddler - just one and a half - Her mom told her the story - and she did this because she loved them. She travelled Africa with her mom to study chimpanzees...

Thank you

2009-09-20T12:07:00.003-04:00

I want to thank everybody who replied to the daycare post in any way or who has listened to me over the past few weeks while I come to decisions about Willow and care. Some of you called with hugs and advice, i received thoughtful e-mails and replies and many long chats were had over coffee. I feels so lucky to be surrounded by so many wise, kind and thoughtful mamas. Willow and I will be transitioning slowly over the next two weeks ( and beyond :) ) and I'll keep you posted.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

Kathy

Daycare

2009-09-17T12:29:00.002-04:00

Willow starts daycare on Monday if all goes well. Right now she's napping and I'm trying not to think " Go in there and have your last nap time cuddle".

There will be weekends
and holidays

and she's going to love it. Her buddy F is there. The food is apparently great. It is NOT a preschool. She loves other kids. We'll have evenings to swim and eat dinner and cuddle.

This has been the best time of my life so while I'm sure she'll do great, I'm sad. Just right now.

But my mom says if the decision doesn't seem right after a month, I should go with my gut. And I will. I think that I am doing this for all the right reasons because it's best for Willow and will allow me to see the other kids even when they are having fun at camp during the day. No more missing all my Nature Girl time.

If you have any hugs post them ( I' talking to my moms mostly! ) I could use one.

I know it'll be another adventure. I'll be ready -- soon : )

"I Love the bath!"

2009-09-16T21:55:00.002-04:00

Why is that toddler so quiet?

2009-09-16T12:05:00.003-04:00

So at7:45 I start putting together tonight's dinner - I'm on a slow cooker kick these days:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Slow-Cooker-Pepper-Steak/Detail.aspx

I have to slice the meat, chop the onions and peppers, measure out the liquid odds and ends and Willow is playing independently. Awesome. I decide to tidy up a bit, fold laundry - the pile in the room is ou of control and threatens to overtake the bed. No photos of that here!

Willow is quiet. Oh so quiet.

Mischief is afoot for sure so I go see what the little booger is up to. When I walk into the kitchen this is what I find:

2009-09-14T12:16:00.009-04:00

Saturday morning painting with Wild Thing's favorite colour. It ended up all over the walls and a bit in the floor. Shhh.. don't tell!

After a quick tidy up, we headed out to visit Auntie Emily at the bakery and pick on some croissants for breakfast. See if you can spot Willow in the picture.

A special treat - apple muffin that wasn't quite right to sell - or as I called it " the red dye special"

Uncle Mike chats it up - Willow starts her escape.

All our favorite Ottawa folks are there - and Auntie Emily is sitting still!

Auntie Jehnny - master BBQ er. Burgers, hot dogs potatoes and cool shades.

This small yard is awesome - Mike even has an apple tree.

And the "Windoor" is great for us hobbit sized folks to get in and out.

Time to eat - yummy eh Dad?

Common guys - lets go to the park!

Sliding...

Crawling..

Climbing...

Tagging???

Dad and Emily get in on the action.

Labour day pictures

2009-09-10T20:40:00.020-04:00

Often helpful when it comes to cleaning, Willow, shown here being stubborn, doesn't usually make much of a mess.

Unless her mom breaks out finger paints. "Uh, I'll just let you clean this up, 'kay, bye."
"Head on collision with a rollerblader." does not mean anything to someone less than two. So we made her walk on the grass instead of the bike path.
Willow and dolly contemplate how this soft-shoulder business is for chumps.
Daddy promises something exciting lives under the bridge. Could be trolls, could be ducks.
"Dug! Dug!" No, not 'dogs' but...
DUCKS! Willow got the 'loves ducks' gene from her mom.
Daddy may look like he's waiting patiently but really he was just tired. Notice the tour boat docked in the background. They're about as exciting as being stuck in line at the bank on your lunch hour. The crew locks up the life jackets just to keep tourists from bailing overboard after the first hour of brain-gouging monotony.
View from the mouth of the canal. You can see the national gallery, and that spiky thing on the hill to the left is the statue of Bruce Lee. Cut off on the extreme left is the bridge to Hull, so nothing much lost there.
Daddy helps collect some rocks. As I've said before I don't understand why baby clothes have functional pockets; all they do is collect breakfast scraps and earwigs.
Willow enjoyed riding standing up, like the guy strapped to the front of the Lord Humongous' car in Road Warrior.
Future occupation: cirque de soliel. Possibly Mythbuster.
Willow discovered this balloon left behind by a recently departed Ottawa U frosh crawl.
"Look daddy, I'm a frosh: I stagger when I walk, I barf without breaking stride and I'm attracted to breasts."
You may notice from the extremely low camera angle that I shot this on my back in the grass. Willow is thinking "Why are you so lazy, daddy? Get up and carry me some more!"
"That's okay mom. You have the raisins, I'll just keep lookin for the good snacks."
"Hey, there's a lovely bit of dirt over here!"
"Get moving chumps! Happy Labour Day!"

Willow's new most favourite thing!

2009-09-04T18:51:00.001-04:00

Willow completely digs the beats. Her fingersnapping is getting much better when she rocks out.

The cozy shack series

2009-09-02T09:07:00.007-04:00

aCozy shack pudding
perfect light
toddler of many faces

2009-09-01T15:04:00.003-04:00

Willow rockin out to Peaches. That's my girl!!!

Happy 4.0

2009-09-01T14:51:00.003-04:00

New tooth alert!

2009-08-27T13:46:00.002-04:00

update - new front tooth coming in . pictures to follow. This fairy is for Aunt Nicole - who won't facebook. yes, facebook is a verb.

Swimming!

2009-08-26T21:42:00.002-04:00

This was our last trip to the wading pool for the year. Little did we know. Willow loves the water now, and tried to run off in the lake last week. So brave!

All by herself

2009-08-26T21:38:00.002-04:00

When daddy takes care of her, willow puts herself to bed some nights. Seen here with the book she read herself and dolly, all tucked in.

When I'm home, it's all "nyuk" (milk) all the time. She knows I'm a newbie!

Finger painting!

2009-08-26T21:30:00.002-04:00

Willow loves finger paint - but not in her fingers! In this, she is more like her dad and less like me. Or, just her I guess.

Global News BC - Randene Neill Accosted by Dog

2009-08-24T12:35:00.001-04:00

Sweet and funny. Not violent. Thanks Fraulein Falkenburg

back to blog

2009-08-24T11:42:00.005-04:00

Time to blog again! I relied on facebook over the summer because it was easier to post pictures there and with all of the kids in this smallish space we call home there wasn't much quiet time for blogging. Quiet time was for napping!

Then the kids left which left me in avoidance mode. No blogging, no looking at pictures of the summer. Just a lot of doing to keep me busy. Baking and cooking mostly. Looking for a new home to make room for growing kids who need to romp and for me as I'm too sensitive to noise but want to let the kids run free. Two words:Wreck Room.

The fever has passed now though and Willow and I are back to our routines. I ran into Fraulien Falkebburg yesterday and she chided me to get back to the blog. Aunt Nicole mentioned that this is where she comes for updates so no more avoidance. Back to blog.

On the plus side, in avoidance mode I started reading again. I read some Ian Rankin cause nothing is as soothing in a " I'm doing better than these guys" kinda way as a murder mystery being solved by a scotch slugging loner. I just finished " Me talk pretty one day" a series of essays by David Sedaris. It made me laugh out loud and I'm comforted by his assertion his IQ tested low. Why? Look, I'm surrounded by geniuses. I'm not one. It's good to know that those of us with average brains can be witty writer types. There's hope. You know, that one day I'll be a witty writer type. Or at least that I could be something other than a all centre employee and infatuated mother.

Now to deal with my low self image, demonstrated above, I'm reading " Feeling Good" by Dr David D Burns. I don't normally read self help books; generally I find them cheesy and condescending. So far I like this one though. It is practical and does not encourage me to analyze my childhood. It is meant to help with depression but I'm interested in the bits on turning negative thoughts around.

Parenting wise, I'm reading "calm and compassionate children" by Susan Usha Dermond. I've only gotten as far as a discussion about the difference between happiness and excitement and I'm excited to read more. Or am I happy about it? I'll get back to you.

I'm knitting again. Squares and washclothes.The smell of yarn reminds me of life before Willow. Dusting that off too!

And now some pictures. Really thats the best part!

href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tg8VQgn5eXA/SpK8F7hOs7I/AAAAAAAAAQk/-lHcYZLk9OA/s1600-h/090.JPG">

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Boss Fight!

2009-08-19T18:28:00.018-04:00

These exciting scenes were captured while a daring band of adventurers delved deep inside a kobold lair to rescue their loved ones. To their surprise the true master of the kobold plot was in fact...
Entrance to the dungeon.
Tiger Chomp corners two kobold ambushers.
Valna Dancefletcher gets some help choosing her power cards. Note DM wearing DM tee-shirt.
Valna and Applie decide on a strategy.
Epsolus plans a valiant move.
Day 2: Applie needs some help with her tiefling horns.
Valna and Tiger Chomp assemble!
Epsolus asks Applie to roll big numbers.
Holy carp! What's that lurking in the back of the cave?
Me, knaves! I didn't have a dragon mini, white or otherwise, so I sculpted one out of modeling clay. I was aiming for hideous abomination but ended up with kinda cute and doughy.
It's a bushwack! Tiger Chomp and Epsolus go toe-to-toe with winterface while the rest of the party tries to move as far away from another blast of frost breath as possible. Notice the bloodied squares.
Valna Dancefletcher shooting the dragon full of holes from across the cave.
The dragon backs Applie into a corner but Epsolus and Tiger Chomp come to the rescue. This was the scene when our heroes claimed victory and slew their FIRST DRAGON EVER!

Family DnD sketches!

2009-08-13T20:49:00.006-04:00

For all you munchkins who want to relive the glory of taking down a white dragon in the boss fight, here are some character sketches from our family DnD game this summer.
Valna the elven ranger in mid-action. A mild-mannered forest dweller disguises a deadly sniper and master tactician. Think she won't find a way to mess up your day with a swarm of arrows? Guess again.
Tiger Chomp doin' what dwarven barbarians do best: goin' berserk.
Apply the tiefling wizard, about to s'plode some kobold heads.
Epsolus, eladrin swordmage; a picture of grace, and if you try to escape him he'll teleport next to you and put a sword through your face.
Nyx, proving gnomish bards don't comepletely suck. Watch out kobolds or she will taunt you a second time!

Happy 9th Birthday Arrow!

2009-05-31T23:13:00.001-04:00

Have the best birthday ever! 9 rocks!

great things

2009-05-25T08:35:00.001-04:00

1- Sausages from the Sausage Kitchen covered in sauerkraut which also contains SAUSAGE. This is also why my arms still look like sausages. I’m good with it.

2- An herb garden from the market with Basil, Thyme, Rosemary, Edible Pansies, and chives and miscellaneous must -ask -Emily. Will eat tomato sandwich when I get home which should counter balance said sausage and the chocolate almonds ….

3- Hugs. These are great. Strong, soft chubby baby hugs, long lanky goodbye hugs. I love and need hugs.

4- Pictures of a pirate and a sparkly long haired beauty playing in the east coast sun and salt. Those faces make me smile every time.

5- Birds singing in the morning. So much better then an alarm clock beeping.

6- The sun. Vitamin D. Dry heat. Great light. If I were to worship a god of any kind, I think it would be a sun god. Though I am not a sun worshipper in the lying on the beach covered in oil way. Nope. I’m red head after all!

7- Family. My genetic family, my extended family, my people in my neighborhood family. I love the way the door is always unlocked and you drop by with food, with news, with home made dresses and music. My far away families, I eat up your stories and look forward to your visits.

There are so many more great things. I could go on forever now, which would get long and hokey. The point is that this started out as a post (which you didn’t see) about how I was having a bad day. A sad day. A “mean reds” kinda day. And now I am full of thoughts of great things.

Greatest, a sign seen at the Planet Coffee in the market next to the cash register:

Please do not feed the birds inside the store.

Sale- ing

2009-05-23T23:20:00.000-04:00

Sale-ing away

Squeaky and I woke up at the crack of dawn (7:30) to go sailing today – garage sale -ing that is! The Winnipegger in me just loves a good garage sale and the Glebe’s is the greatest.

Today’s haul included:

- 4 books on cd for Nature girl and Wild Thing

- An Ian Rankin Novel. I’ve been meaning to start reading his stuff now that I’m back into - books and mummy mush brain has subsided a bit

- A great batik blanket to add to the play silks

- A bunny vet set – including stuffed bunny, crate, stethoscope, food bowl and various medical tools. Willow loves it and I think the other kids will too. It reminds me of the animal hospital at the Nature museum

- Once upon a potty girls. It is just precious – it uses the right words for pee and poo and actually shows pictures of the real deal.

- Great big Urban Peasant cook book. I love James Barber. I got to cook with him once, and eat his food, at a home show in BC. I could read his recipes for hours and love how simple his cooking is. I appreciate his “some wine for the sauce, some wine to get sauced” mentality. I wish he was still alive.

- A church cookbook compilation that came free with $5 purchase. Big score – it’s eighty years of cooking arranged by decade.

- An Usborne look and see book. Detailed pictures with words – like an eye spy sort of.

- Some adventure stories for Nature Girl and Wild Thing that also have the facts – stories about mummies and pirates that then have facts about mummies and pirates. Looks really cool!

-Some bad Sci Fi movies for W

- The piece de resistance “Dr Who Dinosaur Book”. It’s an original British coloring book style (I think) Tom Baker Dr Who book. I thought that DM and W would get a kick out of it. I was right so far.

- The Hobbit – fully illustrated for 5 cents – the one complaint when we were reading the Hobbit was that the pictures in “The Hobbit Companion” didn’t exactly match the story. Now I have the story with the pictures.

- Some playdough cookie cutters.

- Herbs: Chocolate mint, lemon basil and garlic chive. Woot
- Shampoo for curly frizz head. Brand new fancy stuff that I would never buy - $2!!!!

- Girl Guide cookies purchased directly from Fraulien Falkenburg herself, who is not one bit sausagey – but rather fabulous in her bob and sun glasses!

Okay, so that looks like a lot but, umm, it was mostly books, and all second hand (almost) and hey I’m working 14 hours this weekend….

*sigh*

The Westborough Garage sale is in a couple of weeks… and I can’t wait to go sale – ing again!

green trees

2009-05-21T08:09:00.002-04:00

More porch pictures so that you can see how the trees have leafed up. And you can see a bit of the green gazebo that we put up to add shade and shelter from minor rain days. less slippery deck!!

BUNNIES- it must be bunnies!!!

2009-05-18T17:55:00.000-04:00

Cativan

2009-05-18T08:47:00.002-04:00

The cat may have anxiety issues.
Yup.
I guess this makes us even more related than I thought!

He's been peeing even more than usual lately, on the stairwell of course - that lovely entrance to our home that smells like an outhouse no matter what I do, but then last week he peed in front of the door to our bedroom, on Ws shoes, on various plastic bags. The outhouse was moving in..

So we took the cat to the vet just in case. I love vets btw. They remind me of midwives. They tell you what might be wrong for free. They suggest possible options. They let you think about it and don't lecture you for past mistakes ( ie lack of kitty dental care, or the fact that your cat hasn't been to the vet in ten years). They don't wear make up or perfume.They did a urine and blood test because in the end I did want to make sure everything was ok.

Chances are though, he'll need anti anxiety meds. Right now he's on the extra love plan- more pets, more cuddles, no recriminations when he does pee, an extra litter box on the spot he likes Seems to be working. This morning, I woke up to find Willow at the breast an kitkat curled against her with his chin on my hip.

the more love plan. We should all be on it. and i'd love an extra litter box too!!!

new trike from Aunty jehnny!

2009-05-14T14:26:00.006-04:00

Putting the trike together...

oohh.. sweet ride! Thanks to my aunties.

Day at the park...

2009-05-14T11:40:00.003-04:00

chillin in the pool...

running from mom ...

climbing...

hey ma...

two pictures that make me happy

2009-05-14T11:23:00.004-04:00

because smiling willow wearing fairy wings is whimsical and sweet

because GAH - must squeeze thoes chubby thighs...

Willow's yard

2009-05-14T08:47:00.009-04:00

Willow and Autie Jehnny, sharing a hug on the porch

Willow in her "garden". She'll dig in there for hours. Some weeds are growing nicely. She has planted a veggie garden too, but we keep on eye on those sprouts and encourage less rigorous soil turning!

Willow's big blue hat and smile. She loves the porch. Sometimes I find her out there in the morning in her diaper, pushing the chairs around, plaing in a bucket of water...

Reading to her bear ...

Large Hadron Rap

2009-04-14T09:48:00.001-04:00

I'm trying to understand the LHC - Lisa's husband is working with it in Switzerland and it keeps coming up at the dinner table. This explains things fairly well actually - and has a good beat!

Dark- Mirror can feel free to try and explain things further if he likes.

ramblings

2009-03-31T12:35:00.002-04:00

I meant to download pictures today but it's not working. They just wont open and rather then be frustrated I've turned on Firefly, wrapped myself in a blanket and decided not to worry about it.

In the background:
Zoe "River honey, he's putting the hair away now"
River " Doesn't matter, it'll still be there - waiting"

I think people feel that way about my hair.

I love Joss Whedon, whats not to love about man who renames himself "Luck" ? Of course, I'm more of a determinist myself.

I'm tired after a night of work and then tea and way too many cookies with friends. MMmm. Willow was up much of the night again . I think it's another tooth. I would love to just stay home tonight, drink hot chocolate, finish watching the last two episodes of Angel and go to bed when Willow does. Thinking about it is almost as good.

I'm going to try and slip in a nap. These words are getting fuzzy

banana split

2009-03-26T13:16:00.002-04:00

My grandmother sent me a chain mail about how good bananas are for your body and mind - so I just had a banana split. Calcium + banana= good for me? I was up much of the night with the Willow bug who has a second tooth coming in and really needed to nurse all night along. At 3 am she decided it was party time and headed out to the family room, mom in tow - I was tired of nursing and better a happy distracted baby than an in bed fussy one. She settled down by four but then I picked up " The hunt sisters" and couldn't stop reading.. So now i'm tired but I can't sleep and feel a bit off.

Little things are making me sad today. For example - during play group, we were playing with a parachute - the kids would go in the middle and we'd walk around in circle so they'd get a "ride". One little boy didn't like it and was crying, but his mom wouldn't take him out. She wouldn't pick him up. This was not something we *had* to do. It was supposed to be fun. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and picked him him up. That's all he needed. Usually, I am not a vocal critic of other parents. I have my thoughts but I know too that everyone does things differently. Today this just upset me a lot. When kids need affection they should get it. Maybe I need a hug today. Yeesh.

Also today I wish I didn't have to work. I like my job honestly, and I like having money of my own but if I could afford it, I would stay home because when I think about what makes me happy, it is being with my child. I tried last night to think of how much money would make it worthwhile to leave Willow all day. Not even a million dollars, because I can't buy back my time with her. There is nothing I want more than to watch her learn, help her grow, hug her close. I understand though that I have to help provide a home for her, monetarily and I have a good balance right now.

I'm lucky and the banana split will kick in soon!

Pirates DO wear glasses

2009-03-25T21:58:00.002-04:00

pirates who wear glasses - for Max - Jack Sparrow wears glasses most of the time. He's the coolest pirate around.

Other cool people who wear glasses
Harry Potter
Mummy
Daddy
Kathy
Emily
Arthur ( the aardvark)
Arnold from the magic school bus books
Arrow
Tyren when he was little

Mudmama - you might want to check out this site full of cool books and links http://littlefoureyes.com

To do

2009-03-24T12:52:00.002-04:00

With the kids gone things are too quiet. I know, I said I didn't like too much noise, we need more space, I want some time to sit down ..
And now they are gone and I am spacey and weird - starting to fold the laundry only to wander and tidy the kids room and then do some dishes, eat a cookie, wander back to the laundry. I'm checking facebook way too much again. I think about how much I'd like to read but I can't sit still and besides, I should clean the kitty litter.

When the kids are here I'm busy and life is full by default. I miss their long lanky bounding. I miss morning cuddles and endless questions. I miss garbled movie descriptions. I miss having a reason to enjoy silly things like green food and table forts. ( We ate so much green food on st patty's day.. green eggs and ham people)

Yeesh. I just have to re set my schedule. I'll be happy when morning playgroup starts up tomorrow and we'll be back to our routine. Willow is clingy right now - I think she misses the extra kisses, sword fights and dino attacks. On the other hand she's chatting lots ( not in English mind you) happy to hear herself I think.

stabbed!

2009-03-24T12:12:00.002-04:00

Willow woke me up this morning by stabbing me in the eye with a window marker. Must put window markers away. She had such a grin on her face too
"Hey mom, you finally woke up! Happy to see me too?" If only I could see...

The eye is fine - she didn't actually get me, but from now on I'm going to be more careful about catching a little more shut eye while she plays independently ( plots my demise) in the morning. Sleep vs eyesight. It's close.

Things I learned

2009-03-23T13:18:00.002-04:00

There are no pictures yet - W is away for a bit and he has the computer with the pictures- there will be lots to see though!
In the meantime, I wanted to share a bit of what I learned this week, so that I don't forget for the next time.

1. Ask questions. A was having trouble the second day with mini meltdowns. at work that night, I had a discussion with a friend a mine, a straightforward sailor type. Our politics don't always match, but his parenting advice was a gift.

"Ask her what she's afraid of" he told me. " When people are angry they are usually afraid of something. Help her with that. A kid's job is to be a kid and have fun. A kid's job is to learn," he added " but mostly to have fun, and learning should be fun too. Remind her of that. "

So A and I had a chat the next day, which is private, between her and I. But I learned a lot, modified my approach and reminded her to be a kid. From then on, I asked the kids why when they were frustrated and "Is there anything you need to help?" I also asked " what is a good solution?" and helped them problem solve. It takes longer than a direct order but is more likely to lead to a workable solution.

2- Listen to the answers. Take the time to listen to what the kids are saying *carefully*. They may not know why they feel the way they feel. But you can help them find a solution. also, i found that it made less work for me sometimes.

3- Do everything with love. Redirecting frustration, cooking dinner, doing dishes, going on outings, sending kids to their room to calm down .. do it with love. it feels calmer.

4 - take time for yourself - five minutes for a coffee and food - in that order i admit - saved my life. i figured out that i needed time too in my whirlwind house and that i could take it.

5- take time with each of the kids alone when you can. I didn't fully suceed in this but A and I did get some reading time and some swimming time in. m and read some books alone too - I think it helped us connect.

I'm not a perfect (step)mom but i am willing to learn. i just wanted to share the valuable lesson, write it down and remember it.
ask
listen
love
learn

pictures and tales of pirates, dinosaurs and swimmers to follow. All my love.

Anticipation

2009-03-12T22:23:00.002-04:00

They are 35 minutes away or so - Mudmama called a bit ago to say they were an hour away. They will look taller and all legs and arms, sleepy maybe?
"Where's my sword?"
"Yee!" and
"Hey. My stomach hurts" - that's what I'm anticipating. The kids are on their way and I am so excited. W can't sit still and Willow is fast asleep - she will wake up confused and then thrilled to see her siblings again. I am ready to pounce down the stairs and carry up a big red backpack. Beds are made, jammies are out, hugs are waiting.

March break

2009-03-12T12:00:00.002-04:00

The kids are on their way here as I type .
Yay!
So much to do though so here is relaxing list of things left

- meal plan - pizza tomorrow night as all will be just getting in the groove and a treat is in order and then I think we'll sit down together and work on a plan so that the kids can help Emily and Wes with meals while I'm at work. Less work for me!

- Laundry - kids stuff is clean - just slowly work my way through the pile that is left in hopes that if things start clean they'll stay cleaner.

- make Arrows bed - sheets are clean but top bunk - Wes can do that tonight

- Playdate for A and M? Yup. Facebook should solve that.

- garbage has to go out

- clothes to the church - that will be our afternoon walk and maybe Emily and Willow could take a second load tonight?

- Activities for the kids
-Sunday is family day at the gallery
-Friday night there is a family movie at the Glebe community centre
-Science and tech looks really cool all week!
-Nature museum has some good documentaries and hands on stuff
-Centertown community centre is having a board game day and Tuesday and Thursday is playgroup for kids up to six
- Sledding still possible - with helmets due to tree magnet tendencies!
and of course hanging about home, doing crafts, playing together and enjoying the cozy chaos.
- ooh and swimming at Jack Purcell!

Must ask Tarek if there are geek things going on about town

If anyone has suggestions, please comment or e-mail me. Pictures will follow for all fans of the family. I am so excited and calmer now that I see that there's not so much left to do. Must eat. Haven't even had time to chew gum today - which is silly.