One month

But dad - I still miss you. And it's funny because we didn't see eachother that much. Three times a year when you'd roll into town for a business trip. We didn't really talk on the phone.

Did you know that this year I resolved to call you once a month? I wanted to show you that I loved you so much, I thought it was important for Willow that we talk more regularly. I called in december. You were sick then but you didn't tell me. You asked me to pick a flat screen TV. A Christmas gift.

I couldn't. Because I didn't want you to think that I only wanted a TV from you. I wanted you to know that I loved you even if you showed up empty handed.

You never showed up empty handed. Two years ago, you brought us Christmas dinner with all the fixings. Thank you. Lush stuff, ipods, the computer I am typing on. I just want you to know that I loved you without the stuff. I loved the way you talked to T about airplanes and uh.. science, bringing him out of his shell when he came to dinner with a book. The way you made my family and I feel special and could talk about anything. Steph said it best - you made people feel smart and special and so alive. You had such good taste and lust for life.

You asked about the TV again when you went into the hospital the first time. I told you we would give it some thought. You wanted to get something for our new house. I told you we were looking but really, I was looking for ways to get down there to see you.

The old TV is quitting now - the one you got me for my first apartment.

The screen is getting darker and darker. Fitting really, it started to quit this winter. When it goes, I might get a projector. I just can'tget a new TV.


This is not a beautiful letter Dad. But I want to talk to you. And from time to time I will, even though I don't think you can hear me. I miss you. I feel a void where you used to be, even when you weren't there. It hurts, But I am okay.

All my love xoox

Kitten